If you put a big condom on a big c*ck, a medium condom on a medium c*ck and a small condom on a small c*ck, what do you put on a soft c*ck?
A BLUE JERSEY!
If you put a big condom on a big c*ck, a medium condom on a medium c*ck and a small condom on a small c*ck, what do you put on a soft c*ck?
A BLUE JERSEY!
15 comments:
- What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead New South Wales fan on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog...
how does a chick from nsw know she's had a shower??
her hairs wet.
The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.
However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.
Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".
A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:
" NSW will win the State of Origin"
"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"
bloody hell, and i thought the worst thing about living in melbourne was the mind numbingly boring fanatacism most of the states inhabitants have re AFL... how far do i have to go to get away from this sort of bullshit hero worship.. they look like bloody brick shithouses with heads for godsakes... blues, marooons who cares ? what sort of a colour is maroon for a football team anyway.. why not just admit its dark pink? and as far as the NSW v QLD debate goes -> I'll help -> they're both equally shit.
shagga
(who might possibly retract some of these comments next time she sees any of you in person)
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy "half" a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.
The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Queensland, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Queensland," the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby league players up there."
"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Queensland!"
The boy replied, "No shit!!! Who did she play for?
Did you hear that Australia Post had to recall it's latest stamps....? They had NSW Origin Players on them and no one new which side to spit on....
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a NSW fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the NSW fan - twice.
Q. What do you have when 100 NSW fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer NSW fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."
Q. What do NSW fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. What do you call a new south welshman with one brain cell??
A. Gifted.
A new south welshman had just totaled his car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, he managed to pry himself from the wreckage without a scratch and was combing his dischevalled hair when a copper arrived.
"My God!" the cop gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK sir?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the guy chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" he began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, sir", the cop said, cutting him off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a NSW joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS from NSW, the bouncer is also. I'm a 6' tall, 130kg black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 135kg, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 155 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is from NSW. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
What's blue on the outside, and maroon on the inside?
a NSW fan with a bruised ego
Q. What's the difference between NSW and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
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