WEEKLY FIX PAGES

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

SOUTH EAST QUEENSLAND




Chck out some pics recently taken on holidays!!

WALK AGAINST WARMING - THIS SATURDAY

This Saturday - November 4th is your chance to join citizens of more than 40 countries demanding deep cuts to greenhouse pollution. On this global day of action Australians will unite under the banner Walk Against Warming. So get your shoes on and bring your friends, kids and everyone you know to a Walk Against Warming near you:

Sydney: 11am, Martin Place
Melbourne: 1pm Town Hall
Brisbane: 2pm Queens Park (cnr George & Elizabeth St)

There are a few of us committed to going so please let me know if your up for "showing your support" and we'll be sure to make it fun. I dont think any of us can deny that this is one of the most pressing issues we as a planet face at the moment!

Join me and the Vegas kids or Bluey in Steak n Kidney!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

28 days to Ashes

28 days to the Ashes so all you fixers going to the cricket here is some ammunition to equip you with those singing poms. Lukozade manages a printing company so we will get a 1000 copies to hand out before the match, to really serve it up to those pommie bastards.

These songs will need some practice so i will contact all Ashes Warriors by phone to arrange a practice session.

I have booked 10 convict costumes for the match so we are fully sorted.

All songs were provided by The Courier Mail.



The following are the lyrics to tunes from the Fanatics' Ashes Songbook
Are you ever gonna wash, pommie?


Tune: Rock DJ, Robbie Williams

How come you never wash pommie?
Is there a shower in your hostel?
When's it gonna stop, pommie?
We're so sick of that bloody smell.

How come you never wash pommie?
Is there a shower in your hostel?
When's it gonna stop, pommie?
We're so sick of that bloody smell.



Monty Panesar's Useless

Tune: My old mans a dustman

Monty Panesar useless, a poor old English chap
& when he's not spin bowling, he's visiting the quack.

He's useless in the covers, he's useless in the slips
And when he straps the pads on, he'll pass out with the yips



Cheer Up, Michael Vaughan

Tune: Daydream Believer

Cheer up Michael Vaughan
How bad must it be?
To be a - poor pommie person
Now you're watching on TV.


A Marvellous day for a moontan

Tune: Moondance, Van Morrison


It's a marvellous day for a moon tan
With white Reeboks & track suit pants
A fantabulous day for that moon tan
Matches your buck teeth & combi vans
Ever find that
Aussie women seem to run away
From your
Body odour & your tooth decay?



Mathew Hayden

Tune: Father Abraham


Matty Hayden had many fans
& many fans loved Matty Hayden
I am one of them & so are you
So lets all turn around
Drinking arm (repeat with actions for right arm)
(Repeat) batting arm (repeat with actions for left arm)
(repeat) dancing leg (repeat with actions for right leg)
padding leg, (repeat with actions)
fielding pose (repeat with actions)



Brett Lee

Tune: Can't take my eyes off of you

You're just too good to be true,
Can't take the ball off of you,
We love your fiery spells,
You bowl like Lillee not Nel
And when we're drunk at the bars,
We can't believe that you're ours,
You're just to good to be true,
Can't take that ball off of you...
do do do do (etc)

Marcus Tresscothick

Tune: Twist & Shout


You're stressing out Marcus now
(repeat) Stressing out Marcus
Stresscothick,
(repeat) Stresscothick,
Come on, come on, come, come on Marcus now
Come on Marcus now
Come on and work it on out
Work it on out

You know that stress is no good
Stress no good
You know you stress so bad
Stress so bad
We'll help you stress a little longer now
Stress a little longer
Can't get us out of your mind
(repeat) Well sweat it, sweat it, sweat it, Marcus now
Do do do do etc.



Dermot Reeve

Tune: Lola


He's got bad hair and an OBE,
Snorts white powder & got dropped from TV,
Our mate Dermie
whoa whoa whoa Dermie

Ode to a British girlfriend

Tune: Living Doll, Cliff Richard

Got myself a yawning, boring, pasty, nagging, whinging pom
Got to do your best to leave her just cause she's a whinging pom
She's got a lazy eye & big fat thighs from all those chips & pies
She's not the only boring, pasty, nagging, whinging pom

Monday, October 23, 2006

Phar Lap and Vegemite - Murdered

It hasn't been a good day for Australian Icons.

After years of conspiracy theories it has been finally proven that the legendary Phar Lap was murdered by arsenic poisoning. By using a synchotron scientist can measure the level of toxins in a single piece of hair and therefore determine a cause of death.

It was bad enough when the U.S bought out vegemite but now the U.S is banning vegemite from entering its shores. The reason for this is apparently mixing folate with grains and cereals is not good for your health.

Vegemite is owned by Kraft which is owned by Phillip Morris Tobacco.

Does this make any sense?

Blog Update

Just letting you know again that I have updated our blog. I have been extremely slack on the emails - sorry! But Skype is ready to go... Hope to have a skypemathon soon with everyone logging in.
Sending you all lots of love and plenty of rain. Breeza xxxxxx

www.colandisa.blogspot.com OR click on the title of this blog.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Big Day In ???

I hope all you Fixer's out there who wanted to run wild at the Big Day Out, managed to secure tickets as the Gold Coast Big Day Out has officially sold out.

The only way to purchase tickets (legally) is to register for a ballot at the Big Day Out web site and hope each week that you are one of the lucky 500 tickets sold over the next ten weeks. Tickets are $125 + bf.

Good luck and let us know if anyone is going.

I think we should have a party at Jamesy's on the 21st January called The Big Day In. If anyone else agrees give let us know and I will go to work convincing the mutant.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Worlds Biggest Refugee Camp

I'm in full agreeance with you Mick regarding banning all weapons and the hypocrisy that exists as we blindly follow the Bushwanker.
Never ever should we feel any sympathy for the most ruthless and evil of all leaders of our time.
I grew up with Fiona Terry, who was with MSF (now in Burma with the Red Cross). The below is part of an interview she did a few years ago.
"Look at North Korea. It is the example of the worst abuse of aid at the moment. Which is why in 1998 MSF pulled out. We just won't work there."
That's quite a call to make when it comes to a country that has lost an estimated two to three million people to famine; where a third of mothers continue to be assessed as malnourished and anaemic; and where 40% of children are considered to be chronically malnourished.
Kim Jong-il is criminally indifferent to the suffering of his own people and spends 43% of the state budget on the military but little on fuel. So in the -25°C winters, few houses or buildings are heated. As a result, the most common causes of death among children are diarrhoea and pneumonia.
Before the border crackdown, Terry interviewed hundreds of North Korean refugees as they risked all to cross into China. "When we talked to them, not one of them, not one, had ever been the recipient of food aid. The only time they've seen it is when it's being traded on the black market."
The "pretence" at assistance occurs because of the tight totalitarian control over everything, but most especially food distribution. In many ways, it has become the instrument of control.
What happens to western-donated food aid? According to Terry, the minute it arrives in North Korea, it goes into military warehouses. It's distributed to those North Koreans considered by the regime to be compliant. Foreign aid workers are not allowed to conduct independent monitoring. That means no spot visits to nutritional clinics, only staged events where westerners see happy chubby-cheeked children.
That contrasts with what MSF was reporting before 1998. As Terry says: "On the way back from these visits our people would see children on the side of the road, dressed in rags, with terrible skin and all the signs of severe malnourishment. When they pleaded with their North Korean minders to stop so they could help them, the reply was 'what children?' They don't exist."
Terry concedes that more recently the UN's World Food Program has periodically withheld food shipments in an attempt to negotiate better monitoring of food distribution to those in desperate need.
But she dismisses this as half-hearted at best. Her condemnation is total. "Food aid is being used in North Korea today to prop up a regime that perpetuates the famine and which decides on a daily basis who has the right to live and who can die. I ask, how is it acceptable for a humanitarian organisation to be part of that?"
...to read more http://www.msf.org.au/stories/twfeature/2003/006twf.shtml
robot dance

Another cracker from YouTube.
This guy in the orange has the best pop since Mr Freeze from the Rock Steady Crew.

Enjoy

Monday, October 16, 2006

Ban ALL Weapons

As we all know North Korea recently became the 9th member of the nuclear club, that has outraged the international community.

After Kim Jong-il was described as a major part of "The Axis of Evil" by Bush, and then witnessing the United states defiance of the 192 members of the United Nations (except UK & Australia) in invading Iraq for possession of weapons that did not exist.

North Korean's leader Kim Jong-il really was given no choice but to guarantee the safety of his country. No nuclear power has ever had its territorial sovereignty invaded by another country.

The hypocrisy floating around at the moment astounds me.

The U.S. is the most aggressive nation on earth. Since World War II, the US has used force against another state on more than 30 occasions - the most notable examples being Vietnam, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Cambodia, Korea, Grenada, Afghanistan and Iraq (twice).

Nicaragua and Iraq were illegal yet the total of international sanctions levied against America is zero. When it comes to doing what it wants, the US enjoys unprecedented freedom.

So before we all jump on the U.S. bandwagon in pulling the North Koreans into line. We should remember that any weapons including nuclear weapons are a scourge on humanity. Anything that has its efficiency rated by how many human beings cane be wiped of this planet should be destroyed.

Hopefully the United States will show what we expect from the most advanced democracy in the world and destroy some of its own nuclear weapons before labelling other countries as outlaws for acquiring nuclear weapons.

Let us not forget that the U.S. has more nuclear weapons than the total of every country in the world.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Big Day Out Tickets On Sale Tomorrow

OK Fixers tomorrow is Friday 13th and Big Day Out tickets go on sale at 9.00am. Ticket sales are a little different this year, only 4 tickets per person. So get organised mutants if you want to be part of The Big Day Out.

Bands announced thus far include Tool, Jet, Muse, Violent Femmes, Scribe, The Killers, Eskimo Joe, My Chemical Romance, Peaches, Evermore, Spank Rock, The Sleepy Jackson, The Herd and the Spazzys.

Venues and Dates

FRIDAY JANUARY 19th AUCKLAND MT SMART STADIUM
Maurice Rd Penrose. Gates open 11am
Tickets $110 +bf

SUNDAY JANUARY 21st GOLD COAST PARKLANDS
Smith St Southport. Gates open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

THURSDAY JANUARY 25th SYDNEY SHOWGROUND
Showground Rd Sydney Olympic Park. Gates open 11am. Event closes midnight.
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

SUNDAY JANUARY 28th PRINCES PARK SOUTH
Royal Pde North Carlton, Melbourne. Gates Open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 2nd ADELAIDE SHOWGROUND
Rose Tce Wayville, Adelaide. Gates Open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 4th CLAREMONT SHOWGROUND
Graylands Rd Claremont, Perth. Gates Open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

pretty cool and some of the shots are in vegas

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Colisa Course

Just letting you know that I have updated our blog and there is still heaps more to come. It's slowly getting cold over here and we haven't worked the heating out yet! Col is working this weekend. I have applied for one job so far and have already received my rejection letter. Loks like I have to type up some bullshit hospitality/ customer service resume. Maybe something like: 2004 - 2006 Hazlewood Cafe - Bar work - Who wants to be my referee?
We have now also Skype set up - with the little camera and all. Exciting stuff. You can find us as Col and Isa, Thurles, Ireland. Loking forward to a chat!
Shazzy & Mark - love your India pics. Good luck with packing etc. Looking forward to hearing all about your future adventures.

Friday, October 06, 2006

India Madness



I am still getting used to this blog posting stuff. These were supposed to be the final images. You should go from bottom to top......
A picture of Mark in our neighborhood. It is a very prestigous hood - truly. This was in the compound we missed out on. Our new apartment is out in the streets.
A neighbour in the hood (the pig). Other neighbors are baby donkeys and goats. Oh and the odd scrawny cow, with her tummy full of plastic. It's illegal to kill a cow so after her milk has gone dry they let them loose, into the balmy streets of hell.
Can't wait until we really know what is going on......come vist!

More India


Kerala, ancient Chinese fishing nets (dated back to 12 AD). I ate the produce caught from these nets - twice. Got gastro and lost 2kgs (yippee), since then have eaten my way back to Oz. As much fresh lobster, crab, squid and prawns as I could eat. Probably wont ask for the masala version of the prawns again, that, or the squid dish did it.
Ash - Georgie, pictured second, started at Movie World with you. I took her along to perform some Aussie hits (like um ....home among the gum trees.....and I still call Australia Home) to our Indian agents at a function. She says a big hello, she was the dame (Belle?) in the Western show 14 years ago. She is the nicest girl, we shared a room for nearly a week and had a ball.

My Indian travel agent clients, first image.
Stacey from Conrad Jupiters and me opening the batting, QLD vs Indian Tavel Agents at the infamous CCI (apparently). They won, it was obviously rigged. They were very serious, girls opening was quite the joke. (I scored 5 so would have to agree).

Earlier in the year I met Gregory David Robers, author of Shantaram, at his hangout Leopolds, downtown Colaba, Mumbai. Caught up with him again but didn't have a camera, did get a photo tho and will post it as soon as I find out who owned the camera. This is a photo taken last year. I wouldn't let hm go, poor bugger. Had to check his authenticity. Got the low down on who was real, who was made up and all about the Warners movie being made of the book, next year, starring Jonny Depp.....
Greg rides old Enfields - he's bought Jonny one.... HOLY COW! You can buy an Enfield, converted to Aussie Standards for about $2k.... Greg (my best mate) has invited Mark & I sit on his charity table March 17th. For me it'll be huge PR for Gold Coast (I'm going to sponsor prizes), but for Mark & I, it'll open up doors for other causes we can get behind. This time, he didn't look like gym junkie, he looked the part - black very cool shirt, still the long hair, an incredible character. Hound, I know you'll come and visit now!

Mumbai Update


Back home after 3 weeks of pure chaos. Found somewhere to live but it fell through a couple of days before I left. The landlords want to rent out only to big companies who invest loads of cash into India. The little non-profit GC tourism didn't cut it. Anyway, found somewhere on my last day, location not as good, but the apartment is fine. Had to order in a oven/stove and a bathtub.
We move around the 2nd week of November.
Shagga - found you a man servant with a mighty snake, come visit.
Southpark Season 10 Episode 8 Part 1

Just found a service hooked up between Blogger and YouTube, hope you like it.

Chuck Norris is King!

Some may have already seen this but for those who haven't enjoy - classic!!

Chuck Norris Facts:
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
- Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
- Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
- When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska
- Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturise his skin
- Chuck Norris invented the apple
- Chuck Norris built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade
- Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you
- Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. you have virtually no chance of suviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick
- Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up
- Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest
- If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!
- Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too
- Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands
- Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
- Chuck Norris can lick his elbow
- P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet
- Chuck Norris' paradise is war
- Chuck Norris puts the FUN in funeral
- Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis
- Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
- Chuck Norris does not love Raymond
- Chuck Norris can kick start a car> - Chuck Norris does not breathe, he holds air hostage
- Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography... it was just a list of everyone he has killed
- Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was - if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
- Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat
- Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down
- The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit
- Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap
- Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette wit a fully loaded gun and won
- The only reason the colour pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is colour blind
- Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club
- Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is one
- Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
- On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.
- See spot. See spot run. See spot get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris sneezes electricity
- Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself
- If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP - ripped into pieces
- Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life
- You know he jumped off the Empire State building one time and he only sprained his ankle
- The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie
- Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
- Chuck Norris understands the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey
- Chuck Norris believes the hype
- When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways - Chuck Norris speaks in all caps
- Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the u.s. postal service and the pony express have combined for the last 146 years
- Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots
- Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse
- when Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back
- Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
- Chuck Norris' IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
- Chuck Norris is a stunt double for optimus prime
- Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a roundhouse kick
- Chuck Norris can clap with one hand
- Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw
- Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Walk Against Warming - 4th November 2006

November 4th is your chance to join citizens of more than 40 countries demanding deep cuts to greenhouse pollution. On this global day of action Australians will unite under the banner Walk Against Warming. So get your shoes on and bring your friends, kids and everyone you know to a Walk Against Warming near you:

Sydney:11am, Martin PlaceMelbourne: 1pm,
Melbourne: 1pm Town Hall
Brisbane: 2pm Queens Park (cnr George & Elizabeth St)
Canberra: 12pm, ACT Legislative Assembly
Perth: 12:30pm Russell Square, Northbridge
Adelaide: 10 am entrance Adelaide airport

Check the Walk Against Warming Website for details of more events as they are announced. Click on the title to head directly to the website.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

IRONY

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Happy Birthday Bear

Bear Skin Rug's birthday today.


2006 Premiers - Brisbane Broncos

Well done boys.
Mighty Queenslanders




Pukka Parklife

Had a cracker of a time at Parklife, met a lot of cool people and listened to alot of pukka tunes and kept with tradition by getting some stage shots.









Sunday, October 01, 2006

PARKLIFE - FIXERS FACES



PARKLIFE SCENES

"Parklife" was held on the weekend right in the heart of Brisbane at Southbank. Great time had by all and although there wasnt really a stand out performer I dont remember hearing anything that was offensive.