Only when the last tree has been cut down,

Only when the last river has been poisoned,

Only after the last fish has been caught,

Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten..

Cree Indian Prophecy

interesting

Submit All Your NSW Jokes

If you put a big condom on a big c*ck, a medium condom on a medium c*ck and a small condom on a small c*ck, what do you put on a soft c*ck?

A BLUE JERSEY!

State Verses State, Mate Verses Mate!!!

Well what a match..... One that I was so glad to have been a part of.... Burger, Si, Kymbo, Paul, Sal and myself were amongst the 52,000 lucky people to be at the game last night (the biggest crowd at Suncorp EVER).. A great Queensland come back of fairy tale proportions.

I could of kicked myself when I murmured to the person next to me that Tate was about to go in for a try right on half time. His kick and chase went Pete Tong and the rest is history. Queensland down 18 -6 with 40 to go. But you know what, being a person who has watched many a game and believes he actually gets as nervous as the players on the day I would rather be down at half time then defending a lead as we always do better with our backs against the wall. And the boys didnt dissappoint. The buzz at Suncorp was that apparent that I could'nt talk to the person next to me the roar was so loud.

The Blues didnt even score a point in the second half. Mal's half time talk must have been inspirational as we absolutely demolished the Blues not giving them an inch at any point in the second half. I was a proud Queenlsander and my 5 partners in crime were all beaming at the end of the game. Sally actually had to calm me down as I was getting a little cocky on the way home feeling the need to rub the win into any Blues supporter's face that happened to pass by.

Lastly Steven Price take a bow. You're a farken legend mate and have been inducted in my personal hall of fame along with the other Queenslanders I have personaly admired in my time. He epitomised the pride that goes along with wearing a Maroon Jersey. I was in awe of his passion last night. He was inspirational and the best on the field in my opinion. You're a farken legend Pricey... When I think of last night's game in the future I will remember it as the game you stood tall for Queensland (do you think he will read this??).

MATE VERSES MATE...... STATE VERSES STATE...

QUEENSLAND ONE UP.

BRING ON GAME TWO!!!

one nil, one nil, one nil, one nil, one nil, one nil, one nilllllll!!!

Yeeee Farh kinnn harrrrrhh!!!!!! Aight...

Two Tribes Go To War

Just received some photos of the new Wembley Stadium the second best stadium in the world, not bad.

Mel or anyone else who would like to become a contributor to the fix please email me so I can reply with the invite. Click on Mickus and it will take you to an address for me.

Oh yeah about Jamesy's parteeee, I was only taking the piss, pretty low key this year.

Bear & Col missing you heaps around the holiest time of the year, State of Origin isn't the same without two of the Mightiest Maroons to grace this earth.

Big Mal called me the other day looking for you Mungus he was hoping you would give the boys a pep talk before they took to the field. I told him you would be available for Game III.

Civil War is almost upon us and the butterflies are settling in so good luck to all you Mighty Maroons where ever you may be.

Jamesy's State of Origin Parteeeeeeeeeeeeee

One more sleep before the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Virgin Mary,all pull resources to deliver the world the greatest of miracles, The Mighty Maroons.

In keeping with tradition good ol' Jamesy will be hosting festivities at Cane Toad Central, rumour has it he is going all out for this one.

The game will be broadcast on a 3m X 6m screen, dinner will include a full roast pig on the spit, don't bring any alcohol as Jamesy has ordered a keg of the Lord's finest amber as well as a carton of that alcoholic lollie water for the NSW supporters. Half time entertainment has also been provided by Jamesy, though I have no idea of its nature.

Cost of the party is $200.00 for each NSW supporter, Queenslanders free.

Please rsvp to Jamesy's mobile. :-)

PICK THE SCORE - STATE OF ORIGIN

Well its that time again. State of Origin!! GO THE MAROONS...

Righto... Step right up... Pick the score..... Everyone's a winner.... I think its going to be a close game.... High scoring..

28 Qld - 24 NSW

Post a comment with your predicition and let's see who takes out Game 1!!

STATE OF ORIGIN

**UP THE MAROONS**

**GO QUEENSLAND**

CONGRATULATIONS ELLIE!!

CONGRATULATIONS Ellie!! Yesterday you officially became an Australian Citizen and all Fixers are quite proud of you. I look forward to the next time I hear the Australian anthem and have you standing next to me. We'll sing it loud and strong together!!

There's a jar of vegemite coming your way!!

A night at Narcissus with Paul Oakenfold

Woody and i thought that seeing as we left Australia as VIP's (thanks very much Met Bar) we'd continue on in the fashion we'd become accostumed to. Mr Oakenfold was playing in Bangkok and we thought we'd check him out so we hooked up with friends who live in Bangkok, Marcus, n May. First we had an amazing dinner at a funky hotel where every room is decorated in a differernt bizarre style - bit like picasso. So we had dinner by the pool in a place you'd need to know someone in Bangkok to find and already we were feeling lucky. Woody was very happy when the staff brought out a cake with candles for his 30th birthday. Imagine when we rolled up to the club Oakenfold was playing at - we felt pure rock star as it was like a huge, white palace. We wo wo wo wah. We were very essite. We got great pole position just above the DJ box and the place was pumping! The feeling was amazing and crazy being in such an ultra electrifying club. Then Okenfold arrived. The crowd loved him. Woody leant over and said "hey paul, over here - we're a friend of Josie James, the Josie James" .. That was our portal in and one thing lead to another which was that several hours later there we were having a bit of a laugh and joke post set with Mr Okenfold in a palatial hotel. He was quite down to earth bloke, happy to have have a genuine chat and give us some words of wisdom based on his travels in the area. He'd just walked off playing to a crowd of heaving thousands and there he was telling us "yes, so I was just saying to my mum the other day 'Who'd a thought i'd get to see the world with a crate of records'" ... bless him .. It was all very nice... So we were pretty stoked as we found our way back to Kho Sanh Rd. And a message to Josie: a big hello from Paul Oakenfold....

ps look very carefully in pics ->Where's Woody?

Help Nardine!!

Nardine unfortunately had her purse stolen on the weekend. BUMMER!! In her purse was her phone and she has had to purchase a new phone and now has no numbers. Can everyone please text her their number??? 0437 442 658 Don't forget to put your name on the text!!

New Vegas Recruits....

Welcome Jason & Ane... Formally Sydney siders they have seen the light and come up to play!!

TWISTED MONG....shagga style....

The Weekend in Review

Woody and Sally celebrated their brithdays on the weekend and quite a large crowd turned out to let their hair down.... We started at Garuvas squeezing approximately 26 people into seating for 20. There are a couple of points I need to highlight about this venue - most importantly the food is expensive and crap - don't ever go there if your wanting a half decent meal because no one enjoyed their meal (yes all 26 peeps). Point two - don't meet friends pre dinner in the bar if you want to chat as the band is so loud you will go hoarse before you eat crap food. All in all we had a good time because of the people but will not be going back there again..... Pity as it does have a good ambience...

We then moved on to 'The Met' a couple of hundred metres up the road and all managed to score VIP lounge entrance. This was where it all went to pippys and the mutants came out to play. We had an absolute ball and despite the gifts going missing (found two days later) and Nardine's purse being stolen (presently not found) the smiles were abundant. A few of the mutants ended up at Hazlewood street and Jamesy kindly served up a special after club treat (thanks mate).

To all involved thanks for turning up as it meant a lot to Woody and Sal and despite the "one night party, three days recovery" that comes with age I know if we had the chance we would do it all again... and again..... and again......

Special thanks to the interstate travelers in Shagga and Sami.... nice one.... Thank you also to Kymbo (you know why)....

Enjoy the pics........

Mong on Baby!

The Ever Changing Faces of Woody

Look at im. Look at im. Aint he a purdy 40 year old??? Woody in the VIP lounge at the Met Bar on Saturday - 12 May 2007. This day exactly 40 years ago he was brought into this world. Dontcha just love im??

talking of halloween.....

check out this pic. click on it to enlarge it..

Happy Birthday Bluey....!!

There is certainly a lot of bull shit around here... Taurians everywhere....

anywaste bluey and isa share the same birth date...... 18 May and we wish the bluey a very happy birthday.... yeahhhhhhhh... you know you want it....

Happy Birthday Woody....!!

This Saturday sees the Woodster turn 40....... Happy Birthday bud!!!

Scary halloween shot mate....

Happy Birthday Breeza....!!

and another one bites.. and another one bites.... and another bull bites the dust .... may 18th sees breeza celebrate anotha year on this planet.....

happy birthday Isa.....

Happy Birthday Sally...!!

it's may birthday madness and another bull bites the dust this monday. happy birthday sal......

love the halloween shots. bring it on......

Can I have some gum please... ?

Happy Birthday Shaz...!!

Can't get enough of the old Halloween pics... Ain't she perrdy??
This is the husband, Markus, bloggin as Rusty lettin' you know that Shaz had a grrreeeaaatttt birthday here in India..
Not quite the shenanigans of Bris Vegas but the party meter was up there all the same...
Anyone out there with random pics they feel would benifit the rest of us that read the blog get into it and blog on. It is especially good fun to blog after a few "strong" kingfisher beers, although typing speed is drastically reduced.. thnak fnck for spell check.

Blog on folks!!

Happy Birthday Mindi!!

Ain't she beawdiful... that NZ Naturopathy course is doing your complexion wonders..
Happy birthday Mindi for the 6th of May!

New Tunes

Preetika and I were at the JW Marriot a few days ago and were introduced to two Aussie lads havin' a go and makin' some live chilled out tunes for the patrons. They're called Tijuana Cartel from the Gold Coast where they had the Thursday slot at Mybar. The blurb below is from their myspace site www.myspace.com/tijuanacartelband

"SPANISH guitars don't exactly go with funky beats the way fish go with chips, but breaks four-piece Tijuana Cartel is showing the world just how good the combo can sound.

In an era where appropriation is worn almost like a badge of honour, this Gold Coast act buck the trend and continue to expand, experiment and draw influence from an ever-widening circle of world and club sounds.

Vocalist and lead guitarist Paul George's flamenco strings slither over some tastefully broken beats on the bands two albums - a self-titled 2003 debut and the 2005 follow-up Frequent Flyers.

The new record brings splashes of Middle Eastern vocals to the mix, alongside some lilting Moby-esque soundscapes and get-up-and-dance beatfests - a club-friendly selection without a dull moment."

If this is the kind of music you'd like in your collection keep clicking and check a similar effort by the same guys under the name George and O'Sullivan.
www.myspace.com/georgeandosullivan
This one sounds like chilled electronic fantasy with overtones of ancient acoustic sounds.

Influenced by: Kruder and Dorfmeister, Buddah Bar, Oka, Rodrigo and Gabreilla, Groove Armada, Anuska Shankar, Melanie George, Massive attack,Plump Dj's, Chemical Brothers, Tiff, Strunts and Farah, Ravi Shankar, Chrystal Method, Chuck D, The Last Poets,N.W.A, Krafty, Tool, The Greys, Bowser, The Post Moderns, The Pixies, Nitin Sawney,Air, Morcheeba, Tparty

Find out about more of George and O'Sullivans music including "Tijuana Cartel" and "Gitano" at www.nicherecords.com

A PERRRRFECT MOMENT IN TIME

Several fixers had a lovely day on Currumbin Beach yesterday. Woody, Kim, Guy, Sky, Max, Matty (you might remember him from the very first FEAR), Sal and myself all enjoyed an afternon at the beach chillin....

The highlight of the day was a late afternoon lesson in how to catch a seagull. Aparently you should dig a hole in the sand then cover yourself with a towel so that no skin is showing. Your assistant should then cover your chest with bread/chips etc and when the gulls land on your chest for a feed..BANG.... you quicklywrap your arms round your chest and you should have a gull intact.

We almost got there folks but Max and Georga (Matty's little un) couldn't resist upsetting the situation just when the gulls were almost within striking territory. Next time... It was evident that it was definately possible.

Loads o fun................

IT'S A FIXERS' WORLD

As most of you know one of the annual aspects of my work role is the overseas sales mission I conduct each and every April. This affords me the opportunity to catch up with overseas fixers should they be in place easily accesible locations that fall in line with the areas I need to go to meet with clients. This year I was lucky enought to meet up with the Ash factor in Vancouver/Whistler and a larger clan of misfits - Isa, Bear, Col, Mez and even Mel G in London. I therefore am now able to speak first hand as I have now visited the habitats of the fixers overseas.

Ash is in fine form and as usual is "up for it bruvas"..... He remains a captain of the friendly skies and flies his copters on a daily basis. He is focusing on getting his "long line" credentials which involves skillfully being able to carry heavy and quite cumbersome materials suspended on a 50 mtr steel line attached to his helicopter. Quite tricky and dangerous folks. Once he has that the world's his oyster and we might even see him back here if we are lucky. He is also possibly looking at purchasing an investment house in Golden which is a ski mountain in the boonies of Canada. His spare time is taken up snowboarding, ice biking, hiking and whatever else there is to do when you live in a town in the middle of bum fuck nowhere without a constant flow of appealing women. Ahhhhhh, it twas good to see him and the latest rumour is that we might see him back in the motherland some time next year..........

Over to London now.... As you no doubt have seen from the blog below Breeza is hooked up in Mornington Cresent at the mo in a stylish little one bedroom bedsit. I think I spoke to soon as since that posting she has been robbed. The thing is that the stupid wankers left Breeza's most prized possesion in her bose ipod stereo and ipod so there was a little good from a lot bad. Breeza is back in market research working with a great bunch of peeps. Apparently her workplace "recreation area" is outa this world with the latest play station, massage seats and everything else one would neeed to keep their employees happy and at work. Lucky girl..... Col is still over in Thurles and plans to join her in August once his contract completes. Col was in top form the night we had out morphing from time to timë to his alter ego "da horse" then remorphing back to his human form to only suggest to you one needed another jager skull to partner the one you had only had not five minutes prior. Nice one maaaaaaaaaaate...

Well Bear and Mez have great stories and they are now in the final stages of purchasing a small two bedder unit in Hackney with their room mates Will & Nat. All going well they might be moving into their new home sometime in June. Will and Nat are solid people - kiwis.... but apart from that good people none the less. Being somewhat younger and still in their twenties Bear, Mez, Nat & Will live in one of the party houses of Camden and its not an unfamilar occurance for their house to be rocking until all hours any day of the week. Ahhhhh London, it don't matter what night, what day, what year..... there is always a beer and a friendly face just round the corner...... Both Bear and Mez are really happy and it was great to see them. In typical fashion I went to the pub just after lunch with Bear and on the day I was flying out. By the time I left his presence I was both suitably late and drunk for my flight home which caused a few nervous minutes in making it to the airport on time and in some sort of presentable fasion. Good Stuff...

So thats just a tiny snippit of news from afar... I am sure there is more to tell but I need to leave some things for when we catch up in person..