On a tour of the East Coast of Australia, the Queen took a couple of days off to visit the coast.
Her Range Rover was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion.
They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Queen noticed, just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a NSW jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing QLD tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the NSW fan from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat,
along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling from the shore......
It was the Queen calling them to the beach. On reaching land the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I heard that the people of Queensland and NSW hated each other. But now I've see this, it's a truly enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations." She knighted them and drove off.
As she departed the harpoonist asked the others,"Who was that?!" That," one answered, "was the Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything about our country."
Well," the harpoonist replied, "she knows f*** all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up, or do we need to get another one yet?"
2 comments:
heh heh heh
A man in a NSW jersey approached the pearly gates. St Peter came out in his QLD scarf and beanie and said to the new arrival, "Sorry, no NSW supporters allowed in heaven".
The NSW suporter said, "But Saint Peter, I'm a good man. 3 weeks I gave $10 to the Bosnian refugee fund." Saint Peter looked at him with caution.
He added, "and 2 weeks ago I donated $10 to the victims of war fun". St Peter continued to stare, "and last week I gave $10 towards the rebuilding of East timor - surely that must count for something?" he pleaded.
St Peter said to him, "Alright, alright, I'll go and have a word with God".
St Peter walked off and soon returned and said to the NSW supporter, " I've had a word with God and he agrees with me........he's your 30 bucks back now Fuck Off!!!!"
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