Life Lessons

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment:
To get their parents to tell them a story with a moral
at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began
to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to
market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we
hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.

"What's the moral of that story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family
farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched
we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story
is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."

"That was a fine story Sarah."

Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon.
Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the
Gulf War and her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had
was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then she landed right in the middle of 100
enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun
until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more
with the machete until the blade broke. And then she
killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of
moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the f*** away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking."