Wedding memory!

You can blame Bear for the speech 2 minutes later.
1 year today! Time flies ..... when you get older.

Update

Hello fellow fixers!
I am so sorry we've been so quiet. I've started a mega update on our blog - mumbai-madness.blogspot.com. I'm not finished, and will continue it soon, lots of pics if you scroll down.
Keep writing on the fix, I miss knowing what is going on in Brisvegas and what cause I should be help get behind.
Bear & Mary, what is up with your site? I can't seem to get into it.
Col & Isa, Bear & Mary, we're planning to come to Riga as soon as flights are sorted, we'll let you know.
We bought an Enfield Thunderbird, picked it up yesterday. We're not going to publish info yet on our blog as we'll need to ease Mark's mum into knowing we have one. It is the most exciting thing to happen us here. Can't tell you the freedom we feel already. Mark is weaving with the traffic like a local already. Here are some shots. We only got it yesterday, more to come.

What the!!!

Have just moved our blogger account to the new version of blogger, and it seems to have deleted some contribitors from the fix. I will try to rectify the situation

Footy Season Almost Upon Us

Right fixers, those who want to participate in the weekly fix tipping competition head to the footytips website and either create a new account of use your exhisting account. Once a member, go to competitions and join the weekly fix.

Good Luck with the season.

Best of wishes to the King of Australia who is under going brain surgery today. Our thoughts are with you Wally.

Long live the King

GLOBAL WARMING / PINK FLOYD / MINISTRY OF SOUND

CHECK THIS OUT!

TURN YOUR SPEAKERS UP!

http://www.ministryofsound.com.au/ecard/prydz/A-Global-Warning.html

Beyond The Drought

Here is the invitation flyer in miniture version. Quite possibly you are unable to read it cos it is too small. But it's a nice picture. Click on heading to see a bigger version. At this stage we are getting some sponsorship in the form of coke, water, juices, energy drinks and also alcohol -> bottles of spirits and RTD's (whatever they are). If no one comes we will have to drink these products on our own. We're also getting sound system, bands, Dj's and killer mixed tapes lined up for post planting party on Saturday night. Come to plant some trees and then drink your share of the free stuff afterwards, whilst thinking how good it feels to do something good. (especially whilst drinking free stuff)

MESSAGE FROM BLUEWEE

Gday Borg,

Hey could you do us a favor, I am not a contributor on weekly fix, but would like to put some words and a reference to Sombrero-Carbon.com which is our new organisation and has reference/invites to the next tree planting project, Beyond the Drought.

I'd really appreciate it mate, just in case some fixers might be able to make it.

Copya
Bluey

Click on the title folks and you'll be magically taken there!
Do it for Bluey!

Australia Day Cricket Match

Australia Day is coming up next Friday and what better way to spend the day listening to Triple J's top 100 sinking beers with ya mates around a bbq at a mutant cricket match.

We have one full team confirmed without making any calls so you will all here from me in the next couple of days.

The venue I will disclose over the phone. Have to be early to get a cricket pitch on Australia Day so I will be there from 7.00am to secure the pitch. Teams will be picked before the start of play around 9.00am

Cricket gear and bbq is organized BYO food and liquids. Plenty of shade available.

I am pretty keen to start our own Ashes tradition so if anyone has an idea for something we can burn to give to the winning team to hold for a year let me know. I will provide an urn to hold the Ashes.

Howdy Fixers

Hi Fixers, have been away for a few weeks holidaying. Spent a week in Sydney over xmas to attend a jewish wedding xmas eve. Stayed near Bondi and ran into Bluey and Woody and spent some time with them xmas day. They were having a bbq the same street as we were staying on.
Returned home and headed straight down to Coffs for some camping. Coffs was brilliant, the weather was very kind to us with it raining about an hour a day around sunset.
Have some great video of Jamesy playing chicken with a bull 10.00am new years day but have not worked out how to get it from my camera to the computer. Can anyone help?

TO ALL FIXERS, FAMILIES & FRIENDS

Merry Christmas Mong

"May this Christmas bring you, your family & friends lots of warmth & happiness".

This is the best mong yet!

FUTURE AUTHORS

Every year, English teachers from across the country submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse, without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped fr om the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
4:19
p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my br other-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Irish News

Heydiho Fixers!

I have posted some 'older' Halloween photos on our blog, more London & Paris pics are still to come. Unfortunately no pics from Amsterdam even though I had the camera on me every day.... Hope you are all well and not getting to sucked into the x-mas madness. Miss you all loads. Lots of love, Breeza.
P.S:Shazzy and Mark you were my inspiration to update our blog cause reading yours made me realise how nice it is to see and read what everyone is up to. Cheers to the Mumbai Madness!

ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010

Click on the title or below link:

http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

Is this where we are heading?

PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION

Does the brain really understand the brain and how it works?

Can someone help me with the above? I have been trying to work this one out????

SuperView

Tim is having a shindig at his place in Coffs there is plenty of space for camping along the riverbanks that run through the property. It is 15 mins from rain forest and 15 mins from beach they have fish stocked dams to catch and fry over the campfire. Party will be accompanied with a 1200 watt sound system. All Mutant Fixers are most welcome.

V FESTIVAL! WHO'S GOING??

Current V Festival Bands

* Pixies
* Pet Shop Boys
* Gnarls Barkley
*2 Many DJs
* Soulwax
* The Rapture
* Phoenix
* Groove Armada
* Softlights
* Bumblebeez
* The Mercy Arms
* The Temper Trap
**and More to Come!!

Gold Coast, April 1, Avica Resort

Tix available from Ticketmaster and selling fast. Its going to be big and Sal and I have already bought tickets. The only thing left is to "Take the Ride".

Who's In?

Sorry I Never Voted For You

No one loves to stick it to politicians more than myself, yet I could not help feeling for poor old Kim Beazley last week. Whether you agree or not with Mr Beazley's policies he spent a life time trying to improve this county. The following are the ministerial positions he held for this country.

Minister for Aviation from 11.3.83 to 13.12.84.

Special Minister of State from 14.7.83 to 21.1.84.

Minister Assisting the Minister for Defence from 11.3.83 to 13.12.84.

Minister for Defence from 13.12.84 to 4.4.90.

Vice President of the Executive Council from 15.2.88 to 1.2.91.

Minister for Transport and Communications from 4.4.90 to 9.12.91.

Minister for Finance from 9.12.91 to 27.12.91.

Minister for Employment, Education and Training from 27.12.91 to 23.12.93.

Minister for Finance from 23.12.93 to 11.3.96.

Deputy Prime Minister from 20.6.95 to 11.3.96.

Kim Beazly may end up being remembered as the most experienced politician to never run this country. I will always remember Kim for being the first politician I have ever sincerely felt any compassion towards.

Losing a brother so close to Christmas and on the day of losing the leadership of the opposition is a little to cruel for my likings, even for a politician.

So Kim my heart felt sympathies go out to you and your family and thank you for every thing you did for this country.

Ancient Teachings

What has happened to the King Blogger Mickus?

I just found this quote I was sent in 2000. Didn't quite "get it" back then, it makes sense now. Incredible that life coaches today, copy the ancient teachings of Buddha.

From American life coach, Laura Berman Fortgang
(her ancenstors were from the gangs around the Fort)

"The physical world is an evergy field.

When you take action, you are sending out electrical impulses into that energy field, teaching it what you want it to throw back at you.

When you simply hope, you are hoarding those electrical impulses. They stay with you and don't enter the energy field.

No wonder nothing comes back; you never sent the message out.

Action is your message to the physical universe. It says you're serious about getting what you want. As long as there are no other obstacles to those impulses going out, the response you're looking for will come back".

Bombay Bliss

Hello fellow fixers,
I write from our apartment in Juhu, listenting to Crazy Penis (always reminds of you Isa) on a Saturday evening. We've had a few beers, Mark is doing our blog and I'm sorting out pictures, pouring beers and filling up the pringle bowl. We've had a great few days, I think you just need to get the "hang of" life here. Yesterdays frustrations are todays funny stories. Although, whilst within the frustration, it is very difficult to see the funny side of anything.
Everything is funny after 3 big Kingfishers.
We are going to venture out to Bandra tonight. Jo Shaw we dedicate our choice of place to you. We're hitting "Olive". The Lonely Planet's Best of Mumbai description is as follows: "Worth the trip to Pali Hill, Olive is one of the trendiest eateries in town. It serves wholesome Mediterranean dishes drizzled with olive oil to Mumbai yuppies and Bollywood stars. Dress to impress if you want to fit in." Hmmm, we have about 2 sets of clothes and better not tell the rickshaw driver Bandra - Pali Hill wherever that is.
Here are some pix of our farewell and our life here. Tyler promise to send the images outside of our window. The street is happening tonight. Little stalls have popped up and people are stopping, chatting, beeping...beeping...and more fcuking beeping. Loud beeps, high beeps, low beeps and beeps with serious sore throats.
PS. Washing machine dryer is not a washer dryer by the way, even when you're sold a washer dryer. Dryer means extra spin. Dryer with a heat element is quite different again.

This is Yardif, outside our house. The red & blue umbrella is the local beetle nut store. Customers day & night.

Go into our new blog at :

http://mumbai-madness.blogspot.com

Murmurs from Mumbai..... Report received from Shaz & Mark!

A sad farewell in Paddington, leaving Sal & Tylers. Jo Shaw drove us to the airport where we met Marks mum and dad (very teary).
A rough start, should have let the Japanese couple push in, as we got the grumpiest, rudest check-in man ever. Not good when we were carrying extra luggage.
(I’m writing a letter of complain he was that bad, and not just because he charged us $36 per kilo extra).
We bid farewell to Jo, Carol and Allan and boarded our flight to Darwin. Business class is kind of crap domestically, so nothing to report.
A few hours later and a few conversations later, we boarded our Mumbai flight. We ate, got drunk, watched movies, got a hangover and then slept (lying all the way down). Before we knew it, we were landing (& yet another movie I’ve seen without an ending).

Cleared customs really easily, were worried as we had a lot of our electrical gadgets with us, and Customs are renown for finding a reason to charge. We also had an extra laptop and play station).

Our apartment broker was to meet us at the airport, instead advised us to where to meet him. We jumped into a cool cab (has air con) with our heavy bags, at one point Mark started to notice the heater rise, smoke began to billow out as we bailed out. We rang Asif (as if that’s his name, but it is), and he came and met us. We were 1 minute from our new home. His driver took the 2 heaviest bags in the auto rickshaw while we drove in comfort and finally made it to our apartment.

We unpacked and tried to stay awake as long as possible. The owner had repainted, added in some lovely touches (& some art and ornaments, some not so lovely) and also some food. We collapsed and before we knew what was happening it was morning. Drums were playing a really cool beat – very loudly. We dressed, raced down stairs and watched what we thought was a wedding at our neighbours house, full of flights and flowers. We were asked to come inside and were told that we were meeting a Jain guru. He and his (disciple?) were naked and chanting. Men and women sat on their respective sides and chanted too. It was incredible. Later he went upstairs and we were told we had to go too. We sat on the ground as he sat on the bed and the owner of this enormous mansion (our next door neighbour) explained about the 28 levels of purity he’s reached. The Jains are totally non-violent, don’t eat anything that is alive (even root vegetables as they may harm the bacteria they eat). The guru eats only once a day from his hands as his bowl and for some reason he annually teaches at our neighbours house.
We then had to have breakfast with the family and fellow worshippers, whatever we ate was delicious, finished off with a gulab. All purely made in the house, we think by the wife – not the servants. The guru later was washed, we couldn’t see him eat or wash as we didn’t have the right robes, it seemed everyone changed into gorgeous white or orange linen flowy robes.

We went out to try and set up bank accounts (the staff at HSBC all seemed to move in slow motion), organise internet and scout out shops. We can’t open a bank account without going to the Foreigner Regional Registration Office which we can’t do without other documentation, hopefully that will be a job for next week. Internet is coming we hope and we found a supermarket. Yes, newish to this town, but apparently there are more of them. They’re a bit like small European supermarkets. We didn’t buy much as we don’t have a stove (only a burner) and we don’t have saucepans. Just found out that we won’t get our shipment of goods until at least last week December. So think we better purchase some plates, frying pan etc.

We came back from our long walk, to pop into the festival house next door. Music was billowing out from the 3rd floor, a live band was playing and we were told to go and sit right across the room (diminishing our easy access escape route). I sat next to a woman who kept trying to tell me something, I think to get a photo between the naked guru’s, we were all sitting at their feet, singing, clapping away while the main guru wrote things in a book). After 40 minutes of “pure” fun – clapping, singing and laughing – the phone rang and we used it as an excuse to take our leave. I think we may have offended them as the guru was about to teach. In smiles they kind of told us it wasn’t ok to leave….oh well.

We’ll make up for it when we next meet.

Asif came over and I signed the lease agreement, locking us in for 13 months with a 2 month notice clause after the 13……..he bought us a chicken thing starting with F and we piked at 8pm. We really need to stay up late tonight as we’re awake so early.

We went for a long walk on the beach this morning, which was also another adventure. Literally, thousands of our neighbours were also walking, running, playing cricket or soccer. Despite the amount of people, it was quite peaceful. We walked all the way to Bandra or so we thought, once we hit a corner, before what seemed to be a fishing village, we started to notice a lot of poo on the ground. We kept walking watching men squatting at what seemed to be in prayer, but was really morning ablutions. No wonder the water is so filthy, loads of them came down from a slum walked towards the water, squatted staring out to sea and shat. I think the Mumbai govt. ought to build toilets within the slum, make it free and stop this…..the beach was quite nice until then. The Tourist police driving up and down, mustn’t go that far. Anyway, another story to add (with pictures). We are at home now, had an appointment with the internet man at 10.00. It’s now 12.40. We had to ring the broker to sought it out, he’s coming now at 4pm. We have the plumbers in here at the moment which is restricting us from leaving – hence I’ve time to write.

Now I’m online, we have bought (but not yet received) printer/fax & scanner and almost ready to go. We also found out we won’t have our shipment until late Dec. So we bought a saucepan and glasses and a dinner set. You should see them….!

It’s now Saturday evening. After much deliberating, coming and going we finally were connected to the internet yesterday. Mark thinks we’re on dial up not broadband. We have been told broadband, but whatever it is, it is painfully slow. We’ll have to purchase speed. It was quite funny, no one spoke English and we didn’t know what was going on as they came in, left, came in and left again. Yardiff our doorman, come night watchman and general errands man, kept us informed with much hand waving and lots of head wobbling.

We decided to venture out and went to the Marriott for a couple of Kingfishers. It was absolutely delightful to sip the cold ales in a space of opulence, it really astounds both of us the enormous gap between rich and poor and how unaffected the rich are by the poor. Kingfishers were still only INR 150. (approx $3.50, for a big bottle at Leopolds, it’s the same price – yet Leopolds is too far to pop into).

We had 2 beers and debated eating at the buffet. We opted for Indian and wandered to “On Toes” our local, near our house. I went to it previously when Jogi and Asif (our brokers) Poor Asif was fasting for Ramadan so didn’t eat a morsel whist Jogi (a Sikh) and I ate for India.. We wandered home on the road that a few hours previously was teeming with parents, maids and auto rickshaw drivers picking up kids. It was like a quiet movie set. Lovely to walk down.

Woke this morning, both of us jumped online, Mark to source TV, washing machine choices and compare prices to home. I was reading the Customs Duty stuff, it will be interesting to collect our stuff when it finally arrives. They’re gonna sting us for everything.

We went for a walk in search for a local gym. The one we saw (which we were told by Jogi the Sikh was state of the art, was horrible and the same membership price as home.

Well it’s Thursday night. It’s been quite the up and down week. If being hassled isn’t enough, debating taxi fares (we now totally understand the auto rickshaw meter and even though we know the rate card in the taxi’s, they seem to put on the meter and “lose” their rate card), receiving what we think is a washing machine instead of a washer dryer, the TV arrived minus the cable, the internet is incredibly slow & freezes all the time and although people are eager to assist, the language barrier often means we get incredible assistance, but the wrong type.

Had a meeting at the Taj, the other side of town today. Met with Travel & Leisure. We’ve just come back having had dinner at Leopolds and a few beers.. Didn’t see Shantaram this time but we left early, it feels weird, but it’s a school night. I gotta get to the office in the spare room in the morning.

More talk, less sex: a girl's brain - Article published in News.Com

IT IS something one half of the population has long suspected, and the other has always vocally denied: women talk more than men.

In fact, women talk almost three times as much, uttering a staggering 20,000 words a day on average compared to men's 7000.

They speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat and get a buzz out of hearing their own voices, a female psychiatrist suggests.

In her book, The Female Mind, Dr Luan Brizendine says the disparity is caused by differences in the male and female brain.

The sex hormone testosterone, responsible for moulding the male brain in the womb, shrinks the areas responsible for communication, emotion and memory, she claims.
The result is that men chat less than females and struggle to express their emotions to the same extent.

In contrast, women have more brain cells set aside for communication. And the act of talking triggers a flood of chemicals which gives them a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts on a high.

Dr Brizendine, who runs a female "mood and hormone" clinic in the US and describes herself as a feminist, said testosterone also reduces the size of the section of the brain involved in hearing, allowing men to become "deaf" to the most logical of arguments put forward by women.
Their brain power, however, is definitely superior when it comes to sex.
Dr Brizendine believes the area responsible for sexual thoughts is twice as big in male brains.
Studies have shown that, while a man will think about sex every 52 seconds, the subject crosses women's minds just once a day, said said.

Dr Brizendine, whose findings are based on her analysis of more than 1000 scientific studies, added: "There is no unisex brain. Girls arrive already wired as girls, and boys arrive already wired as boys. Their brains are what drive their impulses, values and their very reality."

Other scientists, however, are sceptical about the effects of testosterone on the brain.
Deborah Cameron, an Oxford University linguistics professor, said the amount we talk is influenced by the social environment we live in.

.... Jabba, the ming mong

Using his great bulk to create a zone of nothingness (other than his great bulk) in his surrounding space, Jabba sits and mongs in quiet deliberation. Sometimes he manages a fleeting, barely perceptible ming, but mostly he just mongs…

Ming Mong -by Andy Warhol

CHECK IT OUT!

GO TO www.google.com

TYPE IN THE WORD FAILURE

READ THE FIRST LISTING..

THINK ABOUT IT, ACT IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT??

Say NO to nuclear power

The Prime Minister, John Howard, is scheming up a major expansion of the nuclear industry in Australia and in June 2006 established a Nuclear Taskforce to look at the issues.

So far the only nuclear activity ruled out is building nuclear weapons. Everything else is on the table including:

more uranium mining;
selling uranium to developing countries for new nuclear power;
building domestic nuclear power plants;
enriching uranium in Australia;
reprocessing nuclear materials;
becoming part of a global nuclear fuel leasing consortium; and
hosting an international nuclear waste dump.

While the Prime Minister called for a ‘full-blooded debate’ unfortunately the process has been flawed right from the beginning.

Going nuclear is just too risky, too irresponsible, too expensive and can not deliver a solution to climate change.

The real solution to climate change is energy efficiency and renewable energy. Going nuclear is not the answer.

Say NO to nuclear power by signing Greenpeace's online petition. Click on the title!!

Thank you for demanding a safe, clean renewable energy future.

Sincerely
Steve Shallhorn
CEOGreenpeace
Australia Pacific

Just When you thought it was safe........

The MingMong Strikes
again........

Winge of the Week

Sorry fixers for the lack of activity on the Fix as of late.

The last couple of weeks have been quite busy, had a great time down at Hounds for the Indy, where I managed to take some wicked pics as well as some awesome video footage of army helicopters flying within 100 feet of Hound's unit.

Woke up Melbourne Cup Day with the news a friend of Luke's had arranged two VIP tickets to U2 for us. I thought my day could not improve after backing the winner in the Cup which paid $20.20 for the win.

With a camera full of shots and a lost data cord I headed of to Harvey Norman to buy a new cord so I could upload photos to my computer and then the fix. I was politely told the only way to get a new cord was to go direct to the manufacturer of the camera, or you could buy a generic card reader for $60.

Deciding to buy the card reader I took it home to find out the software was not compatible with my computer even though the packaging clearly states thet it is mac compatible.

I returned the card reader explaining my situation, when I was informed that I do not need to load the software just put your card into the card reader and plug it into the computer and every thing will take care of itself.

Taking the advice I took the card reader home plugged it into my mac, when the reader deleted everthing on my card. On returning it to Harvey Norman I was told that it should work and that it is easy to recover data just go to this website.

After checking out the website I was apalled to discover that it will cost me $180 to recover data lost because I took dodgy advice from Harvey Norman.

I returned the reader got my money back and headed towards WOW - light and sound at Annerly.

I explained my situation to the salesman he told me I don't normally do this to people who did not buy a camera with WOW then handed me a data cord for my particular camera for free.

I was shocked considering I was told from Harvey Norman that the only way I could get the cord was through the camera manufacturer.

So unfortunately I have no photos of the Indy or U2, but at least I know what type of business practices Harvey Norman preach.

Thanks to Chin at WOW. So if anyone wants a recommendation for a place to buy presents this Xmas then WOW is the place.

Get Up - A Political Movement

Stumbled across a fantastic site called GetUp - Action for Australia.

With the current government having more control than any other political force in more than a generation and substandard competition from the other parties, it is inevitable things need to change.

GetUp provides us with the tools to participate in the democratic process allowing us to have real input concerning important issues facing this country.

My Space and You Tube may be all the rage in cyberland at the moment enabling people to tap into their creative sides but sites like GetUp can really change the foundations on which our society stands.

SOUTH EAST QUEENSLAND

Chck out some pics recently taken on holidays!!

WALK AGAINST WARMING - THIS SATURDAY

This Saturday - November 4th is your chance to join citizens of more than 40 countries demanding deep cuts to greenhouse pollution. On this global day of action Australians will unite under the banner Walk Against Warming. So get your shoes on and bring your friends, kids and everyone you know to a Walk Against Warming near you:

Sydney: 11am, Martin Place
Melbourne: 1pm Town Hall
Brisbane: 2pm Queens Park (cnr George & Elizabeth St)

There are a few of us committed to going so please let me know if your up for "showing your support" and we'll be sure to make it fun. I dont think any of us can deny that this is one of the most pressing issues we as a planet face at the moment!

Join me and the Vegas kids or Bluey in Steak n Kidney!

28 days to Ashes

28 days to the Ashes so all you fixers going to the cricket here is some ammunition to equip you with those singing poms. Lukozade manages a printing company so we will get a 1000 copies to hand out before the match, to really serve it up to those pommie bastards.

These songs will need some practice so i will contact all Ashes Warriors by phone to arrange a practice session.

I have booked 10 convict costumes for the match so we are fully sorted.

All songs were provided by The Courier Mail.



The following are the lyrics to tunes from the Fanatics' Ashes Songbook
Are you ever gonna wash, pommie?


Tune: Rock DJ, Robbie Williams

How come you never wash pommie?
Is there a shower in your hostel?
When's it gonna stop, pommie?
We're so sick of that bloody smell.

How come you never wash pommie?
Is there a shower in your hostel?
When's it gonna stop, pommie?
We're so sick of that bloody smell.



Monty Panesar's Useless

Tune: My old mans a dustman

Monty Panesar useless, a poor old English chap
& when he's not spin bowling, he's visiting the quack.

He's useless in the covers, he's useless in the slips
And when he straps the pads on, he'll pass out with the yips



Cheer Up, Michael Vaughan

Tune: Daydream Believer

Cheer up Michael Vaughan
How bad must it be?
To be a - poor pommie person
Now you're watching on TV.


A Marvellous day for a moontan

Tune: Moondance, Van Morrison

It's a marvellous day for a moon tan
With white Reeboks & track suit pants
A fantabulous day for that moon tan
Matches your buck teeth & combi vans
Ever find that
Aussie women seem to run away
From your
Body odour & your tooth decay?



Mathew Hayden

Tune: Father Abraham

Matty Hayden had many fans
& many fans loved Matty Hayden
I am one of them & so are you
So lets all turn around
Drinking arm (repeat with actions for right arm)
(Repeat) batting arm (repeat with actions for left arm)
(repeat) dancing leg (repeat with actions for right leg)
padding leg, (repeat with actions)
fielding pose (repeat with actions)



Brett Lee

Tune: Can't take my eyes off of you

You're just too good to be true,
Can't take the ball off of you,
We love your fiery spells,
You bowl like Lillee not Nel
And when we're drunk at the bars,
We can't believe that you're ours,
You're just to good to be true,
Can't take that ball off of you...
do do do do (etc)

Marcus Tresscothick

Tune: Twist & Shout

You're stressing out Marcus now
(repeat) Stressing out Marcus
Stresscothick,
(repeat) Stresscothick,
Come on, come on, come, come on Marcus now
Come on Marcus now
Come on and work it on out
Work it on out

You know that stress is no good
Stress no good
You know you stress so bad
Stress so bad
We'll help you stress a little longer now
Stress a little longer
Can't get us out of your mind
(repeat) Well sweat it, sweat it, sweat it, Marcus now
Do do do do etc.



Dermot Reeve

Tune: Lola

He's got bad hair and an OBE,
Snorts white powder & got dropped from TV,
Our mate Dermie
whoa whoa whoa Dermie

Ode to a British girlfriend

Tune: Living Doll, Cliff Richard

Got myself a yawning, boring, pasty, nagging, whinging pom
Got to do your best to leave her just cause she's a whinging pom
She's got a lazy eye & big fat thighs from all those chips & pies
She's not the only boring, pasty, nagging, whinging pom

Phar Lap and Vegemite - Murdered

It hasn't been a good day for Australian Icons.

After years of conspiracy theories it has been finally proven that the legendary Phar Lap was murdered by arsenic poisoning. By using a synchotron scientist can measure the level of toxins in a single piece of hair and therefore determine a cause of death.

It was bad enough when the U.S bought out vegemite but now the U.S is banning vegemite from entering its shores. The reason for this is apparently mixing folate with grains and cereals is not good for your health.

Vegemite is owned by Kraft which is owned by Phillip Morris Tobacco.

Does this make any sense?

Blog Update

Just letting you know again that I have updated our blog. I have been extremely slack on the emails - sorry! But Skype is ready to go... Hope to have a skypemathon soon with everyone logging in.
Sending you all lots of love and plenty of rain. Breeza xxxxxx

www.colandisa.blogspot.com OR click on the title of this blog.

Big Day In ???

I hope all you Fixer's out there who wanted to run wild at the Big Day Out, managed to secure tickets as the Gold Coast Big Day Out has officially sold out.

The only way to purchase tickets (legally) is to register for a ballot at the Big Day Out web site and hope each week that you are one of the lucky 500 tickets sold over the next ten weeks. Tickets are $125 + bf.

Good luck and let us know if anyone is going.

I think we should have a party at Jamesy's on the 21st January called The Big Day In. If anyone else agrees give let us know and I will go to work convincing the mutant.

The Worlds Biggest Refugee Camp

I'm in full agreeance with you Mick regarding banning all weapons and the hypocrisy that exists as we blindly follow the Bushwanker.
Never ever should we feel any sympathy for the most ruthless and evil of all leaders of our time.
I grew up with Fiona Terry, who was with MSF (now in Burma with the Red Cross). The below is part of an interview she did a few years ago.
"Look at North Korea. It is the example of the worst abuse of aid at the moment. Which is why in 1998 MSF pulled out. We just won't work there."
That's quite a call to make when it comes to a country that has lost an estimated two to three million people to famine; where a third of mothers continue to be assessed as malnourished and anaemic; and where 40% of children are considered to be chronically malnourished.
Kim Jong-il is criminally indifferent to the suffering of his own people and spends 43% of the state budget on the military but little on fuel. So in the -25°C winters, few houses or buildings are heated. As a result, the most common causes of death among children are diarrhoea and pneumonia.
Before the border crackdown, Terry interviewed hundreds of North Korean refugees as they risked all to cross into China. "When we talked to them, not one of them, not one, had ever been the recipient of food aid. The only time they've seen it is when it's being traded on the black market."
The "pretence" at assistance occurs because of the tight totalitarian control over everything, but most especially food distribution. In many ways, it has become the instrument of control.
What happens to western-donated food aid? According to Terry, the minute it arrives in North Korea, it goes into military warehouses. It's distributed to those North Koreans considered by the regime to be compliant. Foreign aid workers are not allowed to conduct independent monitoring. That means no spot visits to nutritional clinics, only staged events where westerners see happy chubby-cheeked children.
That contrasts with what MSF was reporting before 1998. As Terry says: "On the way back from these visits our people would see children on the side of the road, dressed in rags, with terrible skin and all the signs of severe malnourishment. When they pleaded with their North Korean minders to stop so they could help them, the reply was 'what children?' They don't exist."
Terry concedes that more recently the UN's World Food Program has periodically withheld food shipments in an attempt to negotiate better monitoring of food distribution to those in desperate need.
But she dismisses this as half-hearted at best. Her condemnation is total. "Food aid is being used in North Korea today to prop up a regime that perpetuates the famine and which decides on a daily basis who has the right to live and who can die. I ask, how is it acceptable for a humanitarian organisation to be part of that?"
...to read more http://www.msf.org.au/stories/twfeature/2003/006twf.shtml

robot dance

Another cracker from YouTube.
This guy in the orange has the best pop since Mr Freeze from the Rock Steady Crew.

Enjoy

Ban ALL Weapons

As we all know North Korea recently became the 9th member of the nuclear club, that has outraged the international community.

After Kim Jong-il was described as a major part of "The Axis of Evil" by Bush, and then witnessing the United states defiance of the 192 members of the United Nations (except UK & Australia) in invading Iraq for possession of weapons that did not exist.

North Korean's leader Kim Jong-il really was given no choice but to guarantee the safety of his country. No nuclear power has ever had its territorial sovereignty invaded by another country.

The hypocrisy floating around at the moment astounds me.

The U.S. is the most aggressive nation on earth. Since World War II, the US has used force against another state on more than 30 occasions - the most notable examples being Vietnam, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Cambodia, Korea, Grenada, Afghanistan and Iraq (twice).

Nicaragua and Iraq were illegal yet the total of international sanctions levied against America is zero. When it comes to doing what it wants, the US enjoys unprecedented freedom.

So before we all jump on the U.S. bandwagon in pulling the North Koreans into line. We should remember that any weapons including nuclear weapons are a scourge on humanity. Anything that has its efficiency rated by how many human beings cane be wiped of this planet should be destroyed.

Hopefully the United States will show what we expect from the most advanced democracy in the world and destroy some of its own nuclear weapons before labelling other countries as outlaws for acquiring nuclear weapons.

Let us not forget that the U.S. has more nuclear weapons than the total of every country in the world.

Big Day Out Tickets On Sale Tomorrow

OK Fixers tomorrow is Friday 13th and Big Day Out tickets go on sale at 9.00am. Ticket sales are a little different this year, only 4 tickets per person. So get organised mutants if you want to be part of The Big Day Out.

Bands announced thus far include Tool, Jet, Muse, Violent Femmes, Scribe, The Killers, Eskimo Joe, My Chemical Romance, Peaches, Evermore, Spank Rock, The Sleepy Jackson, The Herd and the Spazzys.

Venues and Dates

FRIDAY JANUARY 19th AUCKLAND MT SMART STADIUM
Maurice Rd Penrose. Gates open 11am
Tickets $110 +bf

SUNDAY JANUARY 21st GOLD COAST PARKLANDS
Smith St Southport. Gates open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

THURSDAY JANUARY 25th SYDNEY SHOWGROUND
Showground Rd Sydney Olympic Park. Gates open 11am. Event closes midnight.
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

SUNDAY JANUARY 28th PRINCES PARK SOUTH
Royal Pde North Carlton, Melbourne. Gates Open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 2nd ADELAIDE SHOWGROUND
Rose Tce Wayville, Adelaide. Gates Open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 4th CLAREMONT SHOWGROUND
Graylands Rd Claremont, Perth. Gates Open 11am
Tickets $115 (inc GST) +bf*

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

pretty cool and some of the shots are in vegas

Colisa Course

Just letting you know that I have updated our blog and there is still heaps more to come. It's slowly getting cold over here and we haven't worked the heating out yet! Col is working this weekend. I have applied for one job so far and have already received my rejection letter. Loks like I have to type up some bullshit hospitality/ customer service resume. Maybe something like: 2004 - 2006 Hazlewood Cafe - Bar work - Who wants to be my referee?
We have now also Skype set up - with the little camera and all. Exciting stuff. You can find us as Col and Isa, Thurles, Ireland. Loking forward to a chat!
Shazzy & Mark - love your India pics. Good luck with packing etc. Looking forward to hearing all about your future adventures.

India Madness

I am still getting used to this blog posting stuff. These were supposed to be the final images. You should go from bottom to top......
A picture of Mark in our neighborhood. It is a very prestigous hood - truly. This was in the compound we missed out on. Our new apartment is out in the streets.
A neighbour in the hood (the pig). Other neighbors are baby donkeys and goats. Oh and the odd scrawny cow, with her tummy full of plastic. It's illegal to kill a cow so after her milk has gone dry they let them loose, into the balmy streets of hell.
Can't wait until we really know what is going on......come vist!

More India

Kerala, ancient Chinese fishing nets (dated back to 12 AD). I ate the produce caught from these nets - twice. Got gastro and lost 2kgs (yippee), since then have eaten my way back to Oz. As much fresh lobster, crab, squid and prawns as I could eat. Probably wont ask for the masala version of the prawns again, that, or the squid dish did it.
Ash - Georgie, pictured second, started at Movie World with you. I took her along to perform some Aussie hits (like um ....home among the gum trees.....and I still call Australia Home) to our Indian agents at a function. She says a big hello, she was the dame (Belle?) in the Western show 14 years ago. She is the nicest girl, we shared a room for nearly a week and had a ball.

My Indian travel agent clients, first image.
Stacey from Conrad Jupiters and me opening the batting, QLD vs Indian Tavel Agents at the infamous CCI (apparently). They won, it was obviously rigged. They were very serious, girls opening was quite the joke. (I scored 5 so would have to agree).

Earlier in the year I met Gregory David Robers, author of Shantaram, at his hangout Leopolds, downtown Colaba, Mumbai. Caught up with him again but didn't have a camera, did get a photo tho and will post it as soon as I find out who owned the camera. This is a photo taken last year. I wouldn't let hm go, poor bugger. Had to check his authenticity. Got the low down on who was real, who was made up and all about the Warners movie being made of the book, next year, starring Jonny Depp.....
Greg rides old Enfields - he's bought Jonny one.... HOLY COW! You can buy an Enfield, converted to Aussie Standards for about $2k.... Greg (my best mate) has invited Mark & I sit on his charity table March 17th. For me it'll be huge PR for Gold Coast (I'm going to sponsor prizes), but for Mark & I, it'll open up doors for other causes we can get behind. This time, he didn't look like gym junkie, he looked the part - black very cool shirt, still the long hair, an incredible character. Hound, I know you'll come and visit now!

Mumbai Update

Back home after 3 weeks of pure chaos. Found somewhere to live but it fell through a couple of days before I left. The landlords want to rent out only to big companies who invest loads of cash into India. The little non-profit GC tourism didn't cut it. Anyway, found somewhere on my last day, location not as good, but the apartment is fine. Had to order in a oven/stove and a bathtub.
We move around the 2nd week of November.
Shagga - found you a man servant with a mighty snake, come visit.

Southpark Season 10 Episode 8 Part 1

Just found a service hooked up between Blogger and YouTube, hope you like it.

Chuck Norris is King!

Some may have already seen this but for those who haven't enjoy - classic!!

Chuck Norris Facts:
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
- Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
- Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
- When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska
- Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturise his skin
- Chuck Norris invented the apple
- Chuck Norris built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade
- Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you
- Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. you have virtually no chance of suviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick
- Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up
- Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest
- If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!
- Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too
- Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands
- Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
- Chuck Norris can lick his elbow
- P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet
- Chuck Norris' paradise is war
- Chuck Norris puts the FUN in funeral
- Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis
- Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
- Chuck Norris does not love Raymond
- Chuck Norris can kick start a car> - Chuck Norris does not breathe, he holds air hostage
- Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography... it was just a list of everyone he has killed
- Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was - if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
- Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat
- Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down
- The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit
- Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap
- Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette wit a fully loaded gun and won
- The only reason the colour pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is colour blind
- Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club
- Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is one
- Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
- On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.
- See spot. See spot run. See spot get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris sneezes electricity
- Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself
- If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP - ripped into pieces
- Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life
- You know he jumped off the Empire State building one time and he only sprained his ankle
- The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie
- Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
- Chuck Norris understands the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey
- Chuck Norris believes the hype
- When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways - Chuck Norris speaks in all caps
- Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the u.s. postal service and the pony express have combined for the last 146 years
- Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots
- Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse
- when Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back
- Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
- Chuck Norris' IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
- Chuck Norris is a stunt double for optimus prime
- Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a roundhouse kick
- Chuck Norris can clap with one hand
- Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw
- Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn

Walk Against Warming - 4th November 2006

November 4th is your chance to join citizens of more than 40 countries demanding deep cuts to greenhouse pollution. On this global day of action Australians will unite under the banner Walk Against Warming. So get your shoes on and bring your friends, kids and everyone you know to a Walk Against Warming near you:

Sydney:11am, Martin PlaceMelbourne: 1pm,
Melbourne: 1pm Town Hall
Brisbane: 2pm Queens Park (cnr George & Elizabeth St)
Canberra: 12pm, ACT Legislative Assembly
Perth: 12:30pm Russell Square, Northbridge
Adelaide: 10 am entrance Adelaide airport

Check the Walk Against Warming Website for details of more events as they are announced. Click on the title to head directly to the website.

IRONY

Happy Birthday Bear

Bear Skin Rug's birthday today.

2006 Premiers - Brisbane Broncos

Well done boys.
Mighty Queenslanders

Pukka Parklife

Had a cracker of a time at Parklife, met a lot of cool people and listened to alot of pukka tunes and kept with tradition by getting some stage shots.

PARKLIFE - FIXERS FACES

PARKLIFE SCENES

"Parklife" was held on the weekend right in the heart of Brisbane at Southbank. Great time had by all and although there wasnt really a stand out performer I dont remember hearing anything that was offensive.